One of my all-time favorite movies is Patch Adams, that Robin Williams flick about a misunderstood doctor who goes from being suicidal to the one person who knows that patients need their emotions treated every bit as urgently as their bodies. While the real life Patch Adams might not be as much of a role model as the movie led us to believe, Robin Williams' true brilliance makes every second of his screen time inspired. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about my movie preferences. I came to talk about motivation, and how it relates to one particular scene in this movie.
Williams is in an insane asylum (how such a travesty occurred I don't know), where he befriends a man with a brilliant mind who went mad a long time ago, and learns a valuable lesson. The man holds up a hand in front of Williams' face and asks how many fingers there are. As most of us would, he naturally says "five", only to be met with disappointment. "Try again," the man urges. "You're looking at the problem, not the solution." Realizing what he means, Williams looks past the distracting hand and at the face behind it. As he does, the focus of his eyes changes and he sees the blurred outline of the hand separate into two. "Ten," he says, confidently. "Exactly."
What's the point, you ask? Exactly what Williams learns. Don't focus on the problem. Look past it. See the solution. And the solution to any problem in life is a positive outlook and a willingness to be motivated. With that, any obstacle can be overcome. Because of this, don't ever allow yourself to be bogged down by the specifics or the fear of any particular problem. Look past it to the unstoppable power you possess, and overcome it.
This is why it's important to keep a constant mentality of motivation. Fortunately, there's no shortage of Youtube videos that help with this. There's no better way to do anything than with the powerful words of encouragement about how you can do it through your inherent personal worth in your head. Live every day as if it were your last, and your first.
Thursday, February 23, 2017
The Lifeline
I'd like to talk about one of my earliest discoveries, and the one that I feel is the root of everything I've accomplished since. It's a common misconception that human behavior is controlled by a storm of conflicting emotions. Hear me out on this. In reality (and this is corroborated by modern psychologists), everything in the human emotional spectrum can be boiled down to two opposite polarized extremes: fear, and love.
Picture Fear and Love as two concepts at opposite ends of a straight line. This is what I like to call the Lifeline. On one half of this falls everything that's a product of love: happiness, obedience, being a good citizen, hard work, honesty, and good habits. On the other side are the products of fear: anger, insults, addictions, taking the easy way, and any sort of violence. In fact, I've found this an interesting and educational classroom experience: draw the lifeline on a chalkboard (or a whiteboard, which I guess is probably more common now), and hand out cards to the students describing scenarios which can be traced to either fear or love. Watch the students decide where on the line their card belongs, and find yourself looking at the root causes of things in surprising clarity. Example scenarios include:
Cheating on a test, even though you had a long time to prepare.
Passing the ball to the team member with the least experience.
Breaking into a condemned building to draw grafitti.
Finding a missing wallet, removing the money, and returning only the wallet.
Informing a teacher of classmates' behavior even though it will mean additional bullying.
Not taking a school assignment seriously and choosing a sarcastic approach rather than a genuine one!
Spending all day inside staring at a computer screen.
Behind every behavior is a root cause. I've found that this is the sort of activity that allows students' creativity to really shine!
Picture Fear and Love as two concepts at opposite ends of a straight line. This is what I like to call the Lifeline. On one half of this falls everything that's a product of love: happiness, obedience, being a good citizen, hard work, honesty, and good habits. On the other side are the products of fear: anger, insults, addictions, taking the easy way, and any sort of violence. In fact, I've found this an interesting and educational classroom experience: draw the lifeline on a chalkboard (or a whiteboard, which I guess is probably more common now), and hand out cards to the students describing scenarios which can be traced to either fear or love. Watch the students decide where on the line their card belongs, and find yourself looking at the root causes of things in surprising clarity. Example scenarios include:
Cheating on a test, even though you had a long time to prepare.
Passing the ball to the team member with the least experience.
Breaking into a condemned building to draw grafitti.
Finding a missing wallet, removing the money, and returning only the wallet.
Informing a teacher of classmates' behavior even though it will mean additional bullying.
Not taking a school assignment seriously and choosing a sarcastic approach rather than a genuine one!
Spending all day inside staring at a computer screen.
Behind every behavior is a root cause. I've found that this is the sort of activity that allows students' creativity to really shine!
Negativity
As usual, there's a lot the natural world can teach us about ourselves. Now, I know I'm no expert on electricity or any of that arcane physics stuff (honestly, I found the mindset of those who do enjoy that sort of thing to be dangerously limited in viewpoint and disheartening. Not to say that's always the case, but it's the lesson experience has taught). I do, however, know about electrons.
Electrons are the particles that lie on the very outside of an atom, clinging to the surface and hitching rides on everything it comes into contact with, but never going below the surface and actually interacting with the actual atom itself. It's what causes the unpleasant "static shock" we're all familiar with. Here's the funny thing, though, and it's no coincidence: in the terms used by electrical engineers, electrons have a NEGATIVE charge. This is no coincidence.
Like electrons, negativity lurks absolutely everywhere, spreads easily, and gives a sharp and nasty shock when it does. That's why we have to make ourselves immune to it. Once again, this is a conscious CHOICE. Negative people have a way of hiding their true nature, sometimes. Their pessimistic opinions are presented as jokes, and they can drop their malicious demeanor instantly to put up a friendly facade if they feel they'll be discovered. And yet, their words will rub off until they sucks the energy out of anyone else. There are warning signs, of course. Note their tastes. Do they seem attracted to negative music, for example? Radiohead, Iron Maiden, Nirvana, AC/DC, and similar are often indicators of serious underlying negativity. The same applies to books, movies, and activities.
Unfortunately, negativity has infiltrated our society at a base level and has become very socially acceptable. One only need look at popular characters such as the overrated Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's Marvin the Paranoid Android, or award-winning TV shows such as House MD, which glorify negative personalities as role models. I was appalled lately, after finally getting around to the highly praised BBC show Sherlock, to find that the classic detective has been re-imagined as a rude, self-centered, and almost sociopathic egomaniac.
One of my primary reasons for opposing ownership of guns (sorry to get political, but it's the truth) is that there is nothing more negative than a firearm. Its whole purpose is one violence and destruction. It's impossible to see a gun without knowing what it can do, and being affected by it. There are no positive aspects to it, and there's no coincidence that gun ownership is tied to so many other negative behaviors.
Another warning symptom of negativity is the language someone uses. Do they swear frequently? Swearing is a product of negativity, although it's one I've found frequently is just as often symptomatic of spending time in a negative environment rather than actual internal negativity. Do they focus on small details, rather than appreciate something for what it is and forgive the flaws. Be careful. A negative person only wants you to become like them, because they're lonely. They don't recognize that values such as love, selflessness, and actual friendship are the rarest and most difficult qualities to find, and are naturally the most important. And even when you're the sole spark of positivity in a negative environment, you must do what you can to preserve it.
Of course, you know me. I like to end on a positive note. And that is this: negativity can't win, because it's naturally weaker than anything positive. Again, electricity teaches us this. Electrons have weak bonds which exert little force and are easily broken, while their positive counterparts, protons, are too strong to be broken. Negativity gives way to sloppiness, cowardice, and lack of motivation. To be positive is to have an inner strength which can't be stopped. So shine on, you crazy diamonds.
Electrons are the particles that lie on the very outside of an atom, clinging to the surface and hitching rides on everything it comes into contact with, but never going below the surface and actually interacting with the actual atom itself. It's what causes the unpleasant "static shock" we're all familiar with. Here's the funny thing, though, and it's no coincidence: in the terms used by electrical engineers, electrons have a NEGATIVE charge. This is no coincidence.
Like electrons, negativity lurks absolutely everywhere, spreads easily, and gives a sharp and nasty shock when it does. That's why we have to make ourselves immune to it. Once again, this is a conscious CHOICE. Negative people have a way of hiding their true nature, sometimes. Their pessimistic opinions are presented as jokes, and they can drop their malicious demeanor instantly to put up a friendly facade if they feel they'll be discovered. And yet, their words will rub off until they sucks the energy out of anyone else. There are warning signs, of course. Note their tastes. Do they seem attracted to negative music, for example? Radiohead, Iron Maiden, Nirvana, AC/DC, and similar are often indicators of serious underlying negativity. The same applies to books, movies, and activities.
Unfortunately, negativity has infiltrated our society at a base level and has become very socially acceptable. One only need look at popular characters such as the overrated Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's Marvin the Paranoid Android, or award-winning TV shows such as House MD, which glorify negative personalities as role models. I was appalled lately, after finally getting around to the highly praised BBC show Sherlock, to find that the classic detective has been re-imagined as a rude, self-centered, and almost sociopathic egomaniac.
One of my primary reasons for opposing ownership of guns (sorry to get political, but it's the truth) is that there is nothing more negative than a firearm. Its whole purpose is one violence and destruction. It's impossible to see a gun without knowing what it can do, and being affected by it. There are no positive aspects to it, and there's no coincidence that gun ownership is tied to so many other negative behaviors.
Another warning symptom of negativity is the language someone uses. Do they swear frequently? Swearing is a product of negativity, although it's one I've found frequently is just as often symptomatic of spending time in a negative environment rather than actual internal negativity. Do they focus on small details, rather than appreciate something for what it is and forgive the flaws. Be careful. A negative person only wants you to become like them, because they're lonely. They don't recognize that values such as love, selflessness, and actual friendship are the rarest and most difficult qualities to find, and are naturally the most important. And even when you're the sole spark of positivity in a negative environment, you must do what you can to preserve it.
Of course, you know me. I like to end on a positive note. And that is this: negativity can't win, because it's naturally weaker than anything positive. Again, electricity teaches us this. Electrons have weak bonds which exert little force and are easily broken, while their positive counterparts, protons, are too strong to be broken. Negativity gives way to sloppiness, cowardice, and lack of motivation. To be positive is to have an inner strength which can't be stopped. So shine on, you crazy diamonds.
Invulnerability
It was a few years ago, and not long after I'd first discovered my calling as a writer (and dealing with all the inevitable pitfalls I'm sure many of you can relate to, from feeling stereotyped as the guy who sits in coffee shops with his laptop to regular existential crises about my future) when I was blessed with the opportunity to try something new that I had no idea would be one of the defining points in my career. This came in the form of an unexpected invitation from one of my old teachers at the local community college who asked me if I could spare the time to come in one day and share some of my early work with his class of freshman. I almost dismissed the idea immediately. Why would anyone be interested in listening to my opinions, after all? I was about to write back to politely decline when, to my surprise, I found myself seriously considering the possibility. Remembering some of the theories I was still struggling to put into words at the time, I decided to take my decision to not go and give it an honest, thorough objective examination. The result was shocking. I wasn't doubting my own ability to say something worthwhile. The real reason was something more humbling than that: I was afraid.
And so I found myself in front of a large, unruly, dubiously hygienic, and (worst of all) cynical, college students. I've seen pictures of giant spiders, deep sea predators, and roller coasters no sane person would approach, but I know that there's really nothing scarier than an audience. Of course, fear is a negative emotion and therefore something I couldn't let affect me.
Despite my initial awkwardness and a few embarrassing moments of not being able to read my cue cards, I found myself coming more and more into my element (some basic research about the positive effects of positive emotions on physical health) and even was starting to tentatively make stabs at inserting some light humor into my speech (bonus points for me!) when it happened: I saw fear and negativity rear its ugly head and stare me directly in the face.
His name was Gerald. I'd finished early and was giving the class time to ask me their questions, not sure what to expect but hoping that I could have made a difference. One or two of them went, and I was pleasantly surprised by awkward, yet sincerely heartfelt and optimistic responses. And then, of course, was Gerald. It didn't escape me that he'd waited until several others went before him. That sort of hate always comes with fear and lack of initiative. All of this was apparent in everything about his body language, his clothing, and his voice as he glared at me and launched into an incoherent rant about everything I'd just told them. The particularly sad thing was that he was now an example of exactly what I'd talked about.
He finished with a shocking series of profane insults I would never record here, and the entire class sat in shocked silence. I felt attacked. I felt traces of my old fear returning, now mixed with self-pity and the desire to give up. For a single second, I was dangerously close to descending to his level. I almost made some derogatory comment in response, maybe about his appearance, the fact that people like him are what drags our world down, or how he couldn't see that he had given in completely to his own fear. The second before a well crafted insult left my tongue, however, I realized that was exactly what he wanted. He would have loved his negativity to spread. I made myself cool, calm, collected, as they say. "Son." I told him. "I wish you could see how sad this is. Here's someone completely controlled by fear." He went quiet and slunk back into his seat. (Again, notice just how this sort of person never seems to have the courage to stand up against any sort of response. There's a reason for that.)
The lesson I learned was, incidentally, the same one Taylor Swift writes her award-winning songs about. There's hate, and bullies, and the only real response is to ignore them. Wherever there is negativity, you'll find that people seem to do whatever they can to be spiteful, demeaning, or insulting to you. In other words, they do whatever they can to keep you down. Don't let them. No one else has the right to criticize. Don't try to argue with these people. They won't let you win. They'll have a million logical reasons to support their point of view, but the only reason they bother thinking that much about it is because they know they're wrong. Only by ignoring all of this and following your own path completely can you achieve your dream. Whoever you are, you are the epitome of perfection beneath the criticism of those who wish you to feel weak, and you can show them how wrong you are by overcoming anything. No obstacle, from lack of experience to the very laws of physics can stand in the way of someone who truly believes in him or herself. The more someone is oppressed, the stronger their inner power builds. That's why anyone who's in a majority has an inherent disadvantage: they're in the majority. As the Catholics and the martyrs taught us, nothing is stronger than the suffering minority. And only by refusing to compromise or abandon our beliefs in any way can the abomination of bigotry be fought.
Greggory Kutner is a writer and motivational speaker who tries to spread happiness wherever he goes, and hopes to stand for anti-bigotry, anti-racism, and anti-semitism. Bookmark this blog to keep up to date with his thoughts.
And so I found myself in front of a large, unruly, dubiously hygienic, and (worst of all) cynical, college students. I've seen pictures of giant spiders, deep sea predators, and roller coasters no sane person would approach, but I know that there's really nothing scarier than an audience. Of course, fear is a negative emotion and therefore something I couldn't let affect me.
Despite my initial awkwardness and a few embarrassing moments of not being able to read my cue cards, I found myself coming more and more into my element (some basic research about the positive effects of positive emotions on physical health) and even was starting to tentatively make stabs at inserting some light humor into my speech (bonus points for me!) when it happened: I saw fear and negativity rear its ugly head and stare me directly in the face.
His name was Gerald. I'd finished early and was giving the class time to ask me their questions, not sure what to expect but hoping that I could have made a difference. One or two of them went, and I was pleasantly surprised by awkward, yet sincerely heartfelt and optimistic responses. And then, of course, was Gerald. It didn't escape me that he'd waited until several others went before him. That sort of hate always comes with fear and lack of initiative. All of this was apparent in everything about his body language, his clothing, and his voice as he glared at me and launched into an incoherent rant about everything I'd just told them. The particularly sad thing was that he was now an example of exactly what I'd talked about.
He finished with a shocking series of profane insults I would never record here, and the entire class sat in shocked silence. I felt attacked. I felt traces of my old fear returning, now mixed with self-pity and the desire to give up. For a single second, I was dangerously close to descending to his level. I almost made some derogatory comment in response, maybe about his appearance, the fact that people like him are what drags our world down, or how he couldn't see that he had given in completely to his own fear. The second before a well crafted insult left my tongue, however, I realized that was exactly what he wanted. He would have loved his negativity to spread. I made myself cool, calm, collected, as they say. "Son." I told him. "I wish you could see how sad this is. Here's someone completely controlled by fear." He went quiet and slunk back into his seat. (Again, notice just how this sort of person never seems to have the courage to stand up against any sort of response. There's a reason for that.)
The lesson I learned was, incidentally, the same one Taylor Swift writes her award-winning songs about. There's hate, and bullies, and the only real response is to ignore them. Wherever there is negativity, you'll find that people seem to do whatever they can to be spiteful, demeaning, or insulting to you. In other words, they do whatever they can to keep you down. Don't let them. No one else has the right to criticize. Don't try to argue with these people. They won't let you win. They'll have a million logical reasons to support their point of view, but the only reason they bother thinking that much about it is because they know they're wrong. Only by ignoring all of this and following your own path completely can you achieve your dream. Whoever you are, you are the epitome of perfection beneath the criticism of those who wish you to feel weak, and you can show them how wrong you are by overcoming anything. No obstacle, from lack of experience to the very laws of physics can stand in the way of someone who truly believes in him or herself. The more someone is oppressed, the stronger their inner power builds. That's why anyone who's in a majority has an inherent disadvantage: they're in the majority. As the Catholics and the martyrs taught us, nothing is stronger than the suffering minority. And only by refusing to compromise or abandon our beliefs in any way can the abomination of bigotry be fought.
Greggory Kutner is a writer and motivational speaker who tries to spread happiness wherever he goes, and hopes to stand for anti-bigotry, anti-racism, and anti-semitism. Bookmark this blog to keep up to date with his thoughts.
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